


LGMo and Grubliet

by Ranger_Nova



Category: Buzz Lightyear of Star Command
Genre: Crack Fic, F/M, Parody, Shakespeare parody, romeo and juliet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-22
Updated: 2013-02-22
Packaged: 2017-12-03 05:51:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/694878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ranger_Nova/pseuds/Ranger_Nova
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The crackiest love story ever written.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Act I

**Author's Note:**

  * For [allislaughter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/allislaughter/gifts).



> On the To Infinity and Fandom forum, Alexa once requested a Grub/LGM Romeo and Juliet pairing story. I have fulfilled this request. I'm afraid the writing here is very substandard - I was rushing to get it done - and it's extremely cracky (especially Zurg's scenes), but I hope you enjoy it. One day I'd like to do a more serious LGM/Grub fic, since I really like the idea, but for now you have this really cracky parody.

"XR, watch out!"  
  
The robot heard the warning just in time to dodge a well-aimed hornet blast. "You could have warned me sooner, before I almost got my circuits melted!" he yelled to Buzz.  
  
The Rangers were embroiled in a space battle above Star Command, fighting the waves of hornets Zurg was sending from his ship.  
  
"XR, take out those hornets! Booster, contact Star Command's launch bay and ask what's taking so long for those cruisers to get here. Mira, I need you to - "  
  
"Hey, Lightyear," a mocking voice interrupted him. "Having trouble with our hornets?"  
  
"The only one whose going to have trouble, Darkmatter," Buzz icily replied, "is you." He aimed his wrist ray at Warp and fired, taking out his jetpack. "By the authority of Star Command, I hereby - " Once again, the Space Ranger was interrupted - this time by a beep from his communicator.  
  
To Warp's surprise, his wrist communicator also began beeping. He opened it and checked to see who was calling. "Hmm, Capital Planet seems to be sending a message on all frequencies." Warp smirked. "Must be pretty important. I'm sure you won't mind if I just leave you to find out what it is while I go back to Zurg." Shooting his robotic hand out and grabbing hold of a hornet, he was pulled away before Buzz could stop him.  
  
"Darkmatter!" Normally, Buzz would have made an effort to go after him, but the message from Capital Planet took priority. He opened his communicator and watched curiously as the President's face appeared on the small screen.  
  
"This is the president of the Galactic Alliance, ordering both sides to stand down.I repeat, stand down! Peace talks with the Raenok government are being carried out on Capital Planet, and we will not have them interrupted by this fighting. If the fighting continues, the Raenoks will send their fleet to take care of it. So, cease fighting _now_. There are to be no hostilities for the next week while peace negotiations are underway. Is that clear? Madame President out."  
  
Buzz blinked in surprise. The President wanted him to _stand down_? While Zurg was attacking? And did she really expect Zurg to listen to her orders?

* * *

"What should we do, Evil Emperor?" asked Brainpod 57, glancing at Zurg.  
  
"We don't take orders from the Galactic Alliance! We'll continue fighting!"  
  
"But, your Evilness, we don't have enough forces to withstand a combined attack from Star Command _and_ the Raenoks," protested 57.  
  
"Oh... fine!" Zurg folded his arms. "I suppose the galaxy won't end if we postpone this fight till next week."  
  
This announcement was met with cheering from the Grubs. "This means we'll make it back to Planet Z in time for Cake Day!"  
  
"Yes, yes, whatever," Zurg shrugged, still angry over the President's orders.

* * *

"I just got off the horn with the President." Nebula entered the briefing room, glancing at Team Lightyear. "You're not going to like this, Buzz. She says we can't launch any attacks on Zurg for the next week. Apparently they're at a very delicate stage in the peace negotiations, and she doesn't want anything to disrupt them."  
  
"But, Commander," Buzz objected, "even if we don't make any hostile moves, Zurg will. We have to be ready for him."  
  
"I know." The Commander frowned. "He's probably already planning something. We have to keep tabs on him."  
  
"But how do we do that if we're not supposed to cause any trouble?" asked Booster.  
  
"I don't know," Nebula sighed.  
  
"Excuse, me, Commander, but I have an idea." Mira raised her hand.  
  
"I'm listening, Nova."  
  
"Well, Sir," Mira began, "what if we use one of Zurg's own tricks against him? Remember the time he infiltrated Star Command by disguising a Grub as an LGM? Well, we could do the same thing - only not... not the part about disguising a Grub - I mean, we... we would be disguising an LGM - "  
  
"I think I got the gist of it," Nebula nodded. "That's an interesting idea. It's worth considering. Buzz, do you know of any LGMs qualified for the job?"  
  
Buzz frowned thoughtfully. "Yes, I believe I do, Commander," he answered. "A job like this would require someone with above average skills and intelligence. Someone who can think outside the box. An 'independent thinker', if you will."  
  
"And you know an LGM like that?"  
  
"Yes, I met him during the incident with the stolen trash compactor," explained Buzz. "I think he's just right for this mission. His name's LGMo."  
  
"Name?" XR scratched his helmet. "I didn't know they even had names."  
  
"Like I said, he's an independent thinker."

* * *

"Excuse me, Evil Emperor." A Grub nervously approached Zurg.  
  
"Oh, what is it?" Zurg asked irritably.  
  
"I, uh, I was wondering... Uh, well, you see... I... I would like to get married."  
  
Zurg folded his arms. "First of all, you are _not_ my type, and secondly, I'm not sure if that's even legal in this quadrant."  
  
The Grub quickly shook his head. "Uh, I-I-I didn't mean to you, your Evilness. I meant to another Grub."  
  
"Oh, well that's different," Zurg smiled. "Give my congratulations to the lucky bride!" He suddenly frowned, unsure of the Grub's gender. "Or... would that be groom?"  
  
"Bride, your Evilness." The Grub sighed. "But, you see... I haven't actually asked her yet. That's why I came to see you. Do you... do you think you could ask her for me?"  
  
Zurg glared at the Grub. "You want _me_ to waste my precious time sorting out _your_ love life?"  
  
The Grub cringed. "O-o-only if you're not busy..."  
  
"I'm an evil emperor!" Zurg picked up the Grub and began shaking it. "Of course I'm busy!"  
  
"So... that's a no?"  
  
Zurg flung the Grub across the room. "Ask her yourself later at the Cake Day party, you lackwit! I have better things to do with my time!"  
  
"Speaking of Cake Day," a brainpod piped up, "should I send out the invitations?"  
  
"Yes, send them out," Zurg nodded. "And make sure it's on an encrypted channel this time. Remember what happened last year? Every Tom, Dick, and Harry showed up to get free cake!"  
  
"Don't worry, my Evil Emperor," the brainpod smiled. "There's not the slightest chance of anyone intercepting the signal this time."

* * *

"Have you intercepted any transmissions from Planet Z recently?" Buzz asked the LGMs, coming up beside one of the communication stations.  
  
"Nooo," one of the LGMs replied. "Only messages to Zurg's bases advertising Cake Day."  
  
"Cake Day?" frowned XR. "How come we don't have a cake day?"  
  
"You don't even eat cake!" sighed Buzz.  
  
"I'm just asking why Zurg's minions have a perk that we don't."  
  
"Yeah, we should have a cake day," nodded Booster.  
  
Buzz face-palmed, then turned to Commander Nebula. "We might be able to use this 'Cake Day' to our advantage. A lot of unfamiliar Grubs will be coming in from all over the quadrant, so we could easily slip our LGM into their midst and no one would notice."  
  
"Good thinking. I want you and your team assembled in the Launch Bay with LGMo in thirty minutes. If you leave for Planet Z now, you can easily make it there in time for Cake Day."

* * *

  
"Grubliet, can I come in?" 57 knocked on the door.  
  
"Of course, 57." The female Grub opened the door, smiling as her friend entered. "Is there something I can do for you?"  
  
"I came to tell you that Grubis is planning to propose to you during Cake Day," replied the pod. "I wasn't sure how you felt about him, so I thought I should warn you first, in case you're not interested."  
  
"Thanks, 57, but it's okay. Grubis is a nice guy. I guess I wouldn't mind marrying him."  
  
"Are you sure? You quite don't sound convinced."  
  
Grubliet smiled. "Like I said, Grubis is a nice guy..." She sighed. "It's just... I'm not in love with him or anything. But it's not like anyone else is going to ask me, so I might as well say yes."

* * *

"Alright, XR, LGMo, are you ready?" Buzz asked, bringing the Star Cruiser to a stop behind an asteroid.  
  
"Reeeady."  
  
"Why do I have to come along?" XR pouted. "Why can't Mira or Booster go? Infiltrating Planet Z to plant a spy isn't exactly my idea of a good time." A smile spread across his face. "Now, going out with that hot chick Mab from over at the robotic repair centre, _that_ would be my idea of a good time."  
  
Mira rolled her eyes. "Someone has to go as Buzz's backup, and since Booster and I have to stay with the ship, that someone is you."  
  
"Oh, fine, whatever." XR gritted his teeth and followed Buzz to the launch tubes.

* * *

"Let the party begin!" Brainpod 57 threw confetti into the air, a Grub turned on some disco music, and cake was dished out to everyone. The Grubs soon succumbed to the influence of the sugar, and before long the whole room was thrown into chaos as they dashed madly about and danced on the tables.  
  
Most of the brainpods looked on in disgusted dignity, but a few joined in the madness and some danced with the Grubs.  
  
"I can't believe we only have this once a year," Warp remarked through a mouthful of cake. "This is great."

* * *

"Okay, so far we've managed to make it through the palace undetected, but I doubt our luck will hold out for long." Buzz turned to LGMo. "Get your disguise ready. I'm going to do a brief sweep of the area, then come back and take you to the cafeteria, where you can mingle with the party-goers and try to learn what Zurg's latest plot is. Got it?"  
  
LGMo nodded. "Understoood." He slipped out of his spacesuit, underneath which was his Grub costume. XR handed him the final piece of the disguise - a rubber Grub head - and soon the little green man looked exactly like one of Zurg's minions.  
  
Once Buzz was sure the area was secure, he led the group down the corridor to a door. Loud music and shouts emanated from it, and LGMo felt the first pangs of fear enter his heart. Would he be able to blend in without being noticed? What would happen if he was discovered?  
  
"Are you ready?" asked Buzz.  
  
"I... thiiiink so."  
  
"Good. As soon as you learn something, call us." Buzz handed the LGM a small communicator. "And let us know if you suspect someone's on to you. We'll be waiting in 42 behind the moon, so we can have you out of there in no time."  
  
Feeling slightly reassured, LGMo nodded and approached the door, while Buzz and XR left the scene. Once they were gone, he opened the door and stepped inside. The site that greeted him would have been comical if he wasn't so frightened: Grubs and brainpods were partying wildly, many of them holding cake in their hands, while loud disco music played.  
  
"Hey, a newcomer," remarked Warp. "Welcome to the party."  
  
"Thaaan - I mean, thank you." LGMo tried to adjust his voice and way of speaking to match that of the Grubs'. "Can I have some cake?"  
  
After he was handed a slice of cake, he began looking for someone who might know something about Zurg's plans. His eyes were sweeping across the room when suddenly they fell on... on her. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. LGMo felt his heart beat faster as he stared at her. He didn't know if there was such a thing as love at first sight, but if there was, then he had definitely fallen in love. The only snag... the lady was a Grub. As in, one of Zurg's minions who worked on the side of Evil. And he was an LGM, who worked on the side of Good.  
  
While LGMo was gazing at her, Grubliet turned around, and their eyes met. She gasped in surprise as she took in his appearance. He seemed so different from all the other Grubs - he looked so much nicer, so much kinder. "H-hello," she greet shyly, approaching him.  
  
"Hellooooo..." LGMo was too enraptured by her to disguise his voice.  
  
Warp, who was standing nearby, overheard this. _Strange,_  he thought. _That Grub sounds a lot like an LGM..._

"My name's Grubliet," smiled the female Grub.  
  
"LGMo." By now he'd managed to get his voice back under control.  
  
"It's nice to meet you." Grubliet held out her hand. "Are you new here? I don't think I've ever seen you before." _I'm sure I'd remember if I'd met someone so handsome._  
  
"Uh, yes, I'm from off-planet," LGMo replied, taking her hand and kissing it rather than shaking it.  
  
Grubliet blushed. "I hope you'll be staying here for awhile."  
  
"Me toooo." Completely forgetting about his mission, LGMo put his arm around Grubliet and the pair strolled across the room together, enjoying each other's company.  
  
Meanwhile, Warp had come up beside Zurg, who was still trying to find the evilest flavour of cake. "Did you notice anything funny about that Grub over there?" he asked, pointing to LGMo.  
  
Zurg glanced at the LGM. "No, why?"  
  
"I don't know... I've just got a strange feeling about him. He doesn't act right..." Warp frowned. "He acts more like... well, like an LGM."  
  
Zurg gave Warp a look. "Did one of the brainpods spike your punch again? What would an LGM be doing on Planet Z? And how would one sneak in undetected? And how come he looks exactly like a Grub?"  
  
"I... can't answer that," Warp gulped, "but I'm telling you, there's something wrong about him. I'm going to figure out what it is."  
  
"Yes, well, you do that," Zurg shrugged, turning back to the cake table "Ooh, bunzel muffins! My favourite!"  
  
While Zurg and Warp were talking, 57 had been listening, and he frowned when he heard Warp's suspicions. I _hope he's wrong. Grubliet seems to like that guy... If he's a spy, it would break her heart._

* * *

"I had a great time," beamed Grubliet as the party came to an end and the crowd began to disperse.  
  
LGMo nodded. "So did I."  
  
"Will I see you again tomorrow?" Grubliet asked.  
  
"I hope so." LGMo gazed into her beautiful black eyes. "Good night." He leaned forward, kissing the Grub, then shyly pulled away and left.  
  
"He's wonderful," Grubliet sighed to herself.  
  
"Hey, Grubliet, I need to talk to you." 57 wheeled over to her. "It's important."  
  
"Look, if this is about Grubis, tell him I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to talk to him." _Not that I really am sorry. I've met someone so much better. "I was busy."_  
  
"Yeah, talking to that new guy." 57 looked annoyed. "Do you even know his name?"  
  
"No... he never told me," admitted Grubliet. "But what does that matter?"  
  
57 sighed. "Darkmatter thinks he might be a Star Command spy."  
  
"What?" gasped Grubliet. "That's impossible!" _Oh, please, don't let it be true! I love him!_  
  
57 shook his head sadly. "I think Darkmatter may be right. That guy didn't act very much like most Grubs I know."  
  
Grubliet felt as if she were going to faint. "My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late! Prodigious birth of love it is to me, that I must love a loathed enemy."


	2. Act II

LGMo made his way down an empty corridor, still thinking about Grubliet. _I've never met anyone like her... she's so lovely._  
  
He was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts by a beep from his hidden communicator. "Yeees?" he asked, turning it on.  
  
"Buzz Lightyear to LGMo, have you found anything?" came Buzz's voice.  
  
 _Uh oh... I forgot to ask about Zurg's plans!_ "Uh... nooo." He shifted his feet nervously.  
  
"Nothing at all?"  
  
"Nooo. I'm... still working on it,"he answered guiltily.  
  
Buzz sighed. "Well, contact us when you do know something. Lightyear out."  
  
 _I'd better get to work._ LGMo put away the communicator and continued wandering down the hallway. To his surprise, he suddenly heard Grubliet's voice coming from around the corner. Peaking his head over, he saw her gazing sadly out a window.  
  
"O LGMo, LGMo! Wherefore art thou LGMo?" sighed the Grub. "Deny thy Commander and refuse thy name; or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer work for Zurg."  
  
LGMo felt himself grow shaky. She knew he was a spy... and furthermore, she still loved him! She was willing to leave Zurg just to be with him! He sighed. _I don't deserve someone like her._  
  
Grubliet continued to stare sadly out the window, thinking of LGMo. "'Tis but thy name that is my enemy; thou art thyself, though, not an LGM. What's an LGM? It is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man. O, be some other species! What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet; so LGMo would, were he not LGMo call'd, retain that dear perfection which he owes without that title. LGMo, doff thy name, and for that name which is no part of thee take all myself."  
  
"Grubliet!" LGMo decided to show himself. "Do you really love me that much?"  
  
Startled, Grubliet turned around. "LGMo! What are you doing here?"  
  
"I overheard you talking." He gazed into her eyes lovingly. "I can't believe how much you love me!"  
  
Grubliet threw her arms around him. "Even though I've only known you a short time, I know we are destined to be together." She felt tears begin to roll down her cheeks. "But is it true what 57 told me? That you're an LGM spy?"  
  
LGMo paled. "Hooow did he know that?"  
  
"So it's true?"  
  
"Yes," LGMo nodded.  
  
Grubliet began sobbing harder. "Then you're just here to spy on us... you don't really love me, do you?"  
  
"I doooo!" LGMo tried to wipe her tears away.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
They hugged each other tightly, and Grubliet slowly stopped crying. "I love you too," she smiled.  
  
"That's gooood." Suddenly, LGMo frowned. "How did you knooow I was a spy?"  
  
"57 told me." Seeing his fear, she hastened to reassure him, "But he won't tell anyone else if I ask him not to. We can trust him."  
  
"Are you suuure?"  
  
"Yes." Then fear crossed her own face. "But - but Darkmatter also suspects you! Oh, LGMo, you should leave! It's too dangerous for you here. If they find out you're a spy, you'll be executed!"  
  
"I caaan't leave - I have to finish job." He clasped her hand. "And I want to be with yooou."  
  
"But we can't be together - it's impossible!"  
  
"Nooo, it isn't. You can come back with meee. We can get you away from Zuuuurg."  
  
Grubliet sighed. "I don't want you to take that kind of risk for my sake."  
  
"I dooon't want to leave without you. Pleeease come," begged LGMo.  
  
"I... I don't know." She looked at him hopefully. "If I said yes, would you... would you be willing to marry me? Then we could be together forever on Star Command."  
  
 _This is more than I could have ever hoped for!_ "Of course!"  
  
Grubliet shook her head. "Don't make the decision right away - I want you to think it over first. That way... if you change your mind... you can just leave without getting my hopes up."

* * *

"We go to all the trouble of planting him on Planet Z, and that LGM _still_ hasn't gotten any intel!" XR was complaining as the team waited in boredom behind the moon. "Even I could have done a better job!"  
  
"Oh, just shut up, XR," snapped Mira, edgy after several hours on the cramped bridge.  
  
"Knock it off, you two," chided Buzz. He glanced at his computer panel. "Hmm... it looks like you won't have to wait much longer anyway. We're getting a call from our LGM." He activated the comm. "LGMo, this is Buzz. Do you have the information?"  
  
"Nooo..." came LGMo's squeaky voice.  
  
Buzz sighed. "Then why are you calling?"  
  
"I have neeews." The LGM sounded excited. "I have met a Grub who wishes to defeeect."  
  
Buzz raised an eyebrow. "Really? Are sure you can trust him?"  
  
"Not hiiim, heeer."  
  
"Her? There are girl Grubs?" Booster looked confused.  
  
"Well, duh, how else would Zurg get new Grubs?" XR snickered..  
  
"So, um, you can trust this Grub, right?" Buzz asked again.  
  
"Compleeeetely."  
  
"Good. She can probably tell us more about Zurg's schemes." Buzz grew thoughtful. "This changes things a bit, though. If we sneak her away, Zurg's going to find out, and he might alter his plans, in which case this Grub's information would be meaningless. We'll have to find another way to do this."  
  
"Oh, oh, I know!" said Booster excitedly. "I could go there in my bounty hunter disguise and get her! I could say I heard from my sources that one of the Grubs is going to defect!"  
  
"Excellent idea, Booster," Buzz nodded proudly. "Dig out the old Shiv Katall suit. Mira, XR, I want you to disguise the shuttle as a bounty hunter's ship."  
  
"We're on it, Buzz."

* * *

Grumbling to himself, 57 made his way down the corridor. _I can't believe she's going ahead with this crazy plan! Marrying some guy she's only known for a day and defecting to Star Command! Sure, I'd like to defect myself some day, but this is NOT the way I'd do it._

Finally reaching the room LGMo was staying in, he knocked on the door. "Hello, it's me, 57."  
  
"Cooome in."  
  
57 entered. "Grubliet sent me to ask if you'd made up your mind yet. Are you going to marry her?"  
  
"Of cooourse!" LGMo let out a lovesick sigh. "I have told Star Command to send someone to get uuuus."  
  
"Good. I'm sure she'll be glad to hear that." _I hope for her sake that this goes well._  
  
"Tell her to meet meeeee in the dungeons," requested LGMo. "We wooon't be disturbed there."  
  
"Okay, dungeons, got it. See you!" 57 scooted out the door, wanting to have as little to do with the whole affair as possible.  
  
A few minutes later, he reached Grubliet's room. As soon as he entered, she rushed over to him. "Did he say yes? Did he? Tell me what he said!"  
  
"Oh, come on! Can't a guy even get a chance to catch his breath first?" panted 57. "I came here as quickly as I could."  
  
"Just tell me what he said!"  
  
"Alright, alright, but I don't see why I had to be dragged into all this in the first place," complained the brainpod. "He said yes. He wants to meet with you in the dungeon."  
  
Grubliet swooned. "This is wonderful!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

* * *

"WHAT? One of my snivelling little Grubs plans to defect?" Booster, dressed as bounty hunter Biff Catchall, had arrived on Planet Z and explained to Zurg why he was there. Zurg was not pleased. "And right after Cake Day, too! Sometimes I wonder why I even bother trying to provide good job benefits for my employees. They're never grateful!"  
  
"Don't worry," Booster assured the Emperor, "I'll track down the Grub before it can leave and I'll have it eliminated."  
  
"You'd _better._ " And with that, Zurg left to attend to other duties. As soon as he was gone, 57 wheeled up to Booster.  
  
"Hey, Big Guy, follow me," he whispered. "I'll take you to your friend."  
  
Booster nodded, following the brainpod as he wheeled down a darkened passage. "So... will you be coming too?"  
  
"Maybe another time. I'm not sure if I'm willing to risk defecting yet," 57 replied. "Oh, by the way, is it true that Rangers have the authority to conduct weddings?"  
  
"Uh... yes... but what does that have to do with anything?" Booster blinked.  
  
"Let's just say that your LGM and my Grub friend have decided they kind of like each other."  
  
"You mean... they're going to get married?" Booster clasped his hands together. "Oh, that's so romantic!"  
  
"Whatever, just keep your voice down." 57 led him toward the dungeons. "They're in there. They were hoping you would conduct a short wedding ceremony before the three of you leave."  
  
"Oh, gosh, that would just be the coolest thing ever!" Booster wiped a tear from his eye.  
  
They entered the cell, and found LGMo and Grubliet sitting together, staring into each other's eyes.  
  
"Okay, okay, the Ranger's here," announced 57. "Let's get this over with."  
  
Booster gestured for the pair of lovers to stand in front of him. "Alright, now... uh, gee, I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to say. Uh..."  
  
"Just make it snappy." 57 folded his arms.  
  
"Okay. Hey, why don't you be the best man?" suggested Booster.  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh, I know, you could be the bridesmaid!"  
  
"NO."  
  
"How about - "  
  
"Just get this over with!"  
  
"Alright, alright." Booster looked down at the LGM and the Grub. "Ladies and gentleman," he said solemnly, "we are gathered here today to witness the joining of these two... green people. Um... I don't know what goes after that. Anyway, do you, LGMo, take this Grub to be your wife?"  
  
"Yeeees!"  
  
"Do you, uh..."  
  
"Grubliet."  
  
"Do you, Grubliet, take this LGM to be your husband?"  
  
"I do!"  
  
"Then by the authority of Star Command, I now pronounce you LGM and wife." Booster sighed romantically. "You may kiss the Grub."  
  
"Ew!" 57 looked away squeamishly as LGMo and Grubliet kissed. "Why did I have to get dragged into all this?"


	3. Act III

After the wedding, LGMo left to contact 42, as had been arranged.  
  
An hour passed, and 42 received no word from him. "Do you think something's wrong?" XR asked nervously for the fourth time in the last five minutes.  
  
"I don't know," Buzz answered. "Maybe he just hasn't had a chance to contact us yet."  
  
"What if Zurg got him?" XR paced back and forth anxiously.  
  
"Let's not jump to conclusions, XR," replied Buzz. "Not everything is Zurg's doing."  
  
Mira raised an eyebrow. "This, coming from someone who thinks every kitten stuck up a tree is part a Zurg plot."  
  
Buzz folded his arms. "That's different."  
  
"Oh, really?"  
  
"Hey, guys, I hate to interrupt, but we've got company!" XR pointed out the window. Warp's ship had dropped alongside 42.  
  
"Craters! How did he know we were here?" Buzz slammed his fist down.  
  
"Why don't you ask him? He's hailing us," Mira told Buzz.  
  
Warp's face appeared on the screen. "Hello, Lightyear."  
  
"Darkmatter, I suggest you leave the area immediately - unless you've forgotten the President's warning." Buzz looked at Warp sternly.  
  
"Funny, _you_ seem to be the ones who forgot it. After all, you're hanging out in _our_ space." Warp grinned. "And _you're_ the ones who planted a spy."  
  
Buzz felt beads of sweat form on his forehead. "I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"Oh, really? Then who's this?" Warp held up LGMo, whose Grub mask had been removed.  
  
"Wha~! LGMo! What happened?"  
  
"Sooorry, Buuuzz. He caught me and forced me to tell him where you were or he'd hurt Grubliet," the LGM sighed.  
  
"Darkmatter, you fiend! Hand over that LGM now!"  
  
"No can do, Buzz. I think Zurg will be very interested to hear all the Star Command secrets this guy knows." Warp put LGMo down. "I just dropped by here to gloat - and to blow you out of the sky." He began firing on 42, causing the ship to rock with explosions.  
  
"Mira, evasive manoeuvres! XR, you're with me! We're going after that LGM!" Buzz rose from his seat and headed for the launch tubes.  
  
"But - but there's all that shooting! I could get blown to bits!" XR received a glare from Buzz. "Alright, alright! I'm coming!"  
  
Moments later, they entered the tubes and were launched into space. Buzz fired at Darkmatter's ship, blowing a hole in the side.  
  
"XR, get in there and save LGMo! I'll cover you!"  
  
"Got it, Buzz!" XR flew through the hole, while Buzz distracted Warp. A few seconds later, he reach the cockpit. "Alright, Darkmatter! Hand over the LGM!" XR aimed all his guns at Warp.  
  
"How did you get onboard?" Warp gasped.  
  
"Nooo! Go baaack! Go to Planet Z and save Grubliet instead!" begged LGMo.  
  
"He's not going to be saving anyone." Warp fired a shot at XR, hitting him straight in the chest and causing bits of him to go flying everywhere.  
  
"XRRRR!" LGMo squealed. "Nooo!"  
  
"No one's going to save you or your girlfriend now, little fella," laughed Warp.  
  
Staring at the remains of XR, LGMo grew furious and launched himself at Warp, pounding him with his little fists.  
  
"Hey, get off me!" Warp yelled, flinging LGMo against the control panel.  
  
"Self-destruct activated," the computer suddenly announced.  
  
"Oh, great! You hit the one button you're not supposed to hit!" Warp rushed to the computer, trying to shut the self-destruct off.  
  
"You shouldn't make the self-destruct so easy to activate."  
  
Warp spun around. "Lightyear!"  
  
"You're under arrest, Warp." Buzz stood amongst XR's pieces, holding out a pair of handcuffs.  
  
"Like I'm just going to come along quietly," growled Warp.  
  
"Self-destruct in thirty seconds."  
  
"Would you rather stay here?" Buzz raised an eyebrow.  
  
"I, uh... Aw, craters!" Warp allowed himself to be cuffed.  
  
"LGMo, help me gather up XR and let's get out of here," said Buzz.  
  
They returned to 42 with only moments to spare, and while Buzz led Warp to the brig, Mira and LGMo watched as Warp's ship blew up.  
  
"We must go baaack to Planet Z," said LGMo after Buzz returned.  
  
"Affirmative. We have to get Booster and the defector out of there," Buzz nodded.  
  
Suddenly, the comm. system began beeping. Madame President's face appeared on the screen. "Ranger Lightyear, what is going on?" she yelled. "I've just received word that Star Command sent a covert mission to Planet Z without my authorization! Is this true?"  
  
Buzz rubbed the back of his neck.. "Well, yes, Madame President, but - "  
  
"You have disobeyed a direct order from the Galactic Alliance! Return to Star Command immediately!"  
  
"But, Madame President, we still have a man on Planet Z," Buzz objected.  
  
"Is he safe?"  
  
"For now, but - "  
  
"Then you will have to wait till the peace negotiations have been concluded before you can rescue him." The President sighed. "I'm sorry, Ranger, but these negotiations are too important to risk starting trouble with Zurg. If that emperor interferes with the treaty signing, we're in serious trouble."  
  
LGMo stood up. "But we must saaave Grubliet!"  
  
"You'll just have to wait awhile to do that, I'm afraid," answered Madame President.  
  
Buzz nodded, though he was clearly unhappy. "Right, well, we'll contact Booster and inform him of the situation."

* * *

Grubliet sat in her room, beginning to grow fearful because LGMo had disappeared. She'd last seen him when he went to contact Buzz, and now he was no where to be found.  
  
"Grubliet! I have news!" She looked up to see 57 had entered.  
  
"What is it?" Grubliet asked nervously.  
  
"LGMo was kidnapped by Warp!" the brainpod told her.  
  
"What?" She felt faint. "They've captured him?"  
  
"Yes," nodded 57, "but don't worry - the Rangers rescued him. However, they took Warp in, so Zurg's bound to find out about all this soon."  
  
Grubliet shuddered. "If he finds out, he may have us all executed!"  
  
"I know, I know." 57 looked grim. "What's worse, Ranger Lightyear told me they can't come for us until next week!"  
  
"But by then it may be too late!" Grubliet sank against the wall. "I knew this was all too good to be true! Something had to go wrong." She sighed. "What if LGMo decides not to come back for me at all? What if he realises he deserves someone better!"  
  
57 patted her shoulder. "I'm sure that won't happen. Look, Booster's still on the line with the Rangers - why don't I bring you to him and you can talk to LGMo?"  
  
Grubliet nodded tearfully, and the brainpod led her down the halls to the dungeons, where Booster was making his call.  
  
"So far no one suspects us, but I don't know how long that'll last," Booster was saying.  
  
"Hey, Ranger," 57 called softly, "Grubliet's here and she wants to talk to her husband."  
  
"Oh, sure!" Booster handed the communicator to Grubliet.

* * *

"Excuse me, Evil Emperor," Grubis tried to get Zurg's attention  
  
"Yes, what is it?" Zurg looked down at the Grub.  
  
Grubis gulped. "I, uh, I still haven't had a chance to talk to girl I want to marry yet, and - "  
  
"Oh, so it's you again," sighed Zurg. "Can't you see I'm busy? I have evil schemes to plan!"  
  
"Yes, your Evilness, I understand," Grubis quickly nodded, "but I..."  
  
"Oh, just tell me where the Grub is and I'll tell her to marry you! Anything to get some peace!"

* * *

"Oh, Grublieeeet," sobbed LGMo, "I wish I didn't have to gooo!"  
  
"I love you so much, LGMo," Grubliet wept. "It's going to be torture to spend the week without you!"  
  
"Oh, this is so romantic and sad!" Booster leaned against 57, crying his eyes out.  
  
"If you say so." 57 rolled his eyes.  
  
"Gooooooodbyyyyye," said LGMo sadly.  
  
"Goodbye, my darling. I hope to see you again soon!" Grubliet answered.  
  
The screen went blank, and Booster began to cry even harder. However, the scene was suddenly interrupted by an announcement over the speakers. "Grub number 472 to the Throne Room. Grub number 472 to the Throne Room."  
  
"That's me!" Grubliet gasped in surprise.  
  
"You'd better go - it sounds important," remarked 57. "Oh, I hope Zurg hasn't found out about all this!"  
  
Grubliet left the dungeons and made her way to the Throne Room, where Zurg was waiting.  
  
"Ah, Grublia!" he greeted.  
  
"Grubliet, your Evilness," she corrected humbly.  
  
"Oh? Well, whatever!" Zurg shrugged. "I called you here because I have an important announcement to make that concerns you."  
  
 _This doesn't sound good._ "And what is the announcement?"  
  
"I've just heard that Agent Darkmatter has been kidnapped - the idiot can't stay out of trouble for five minutes. Anyway, for some reason morale always lowers when Darkmatter is in prison, and whenever morale's low you lackwits start producing sloppy work - though your work's pretty sloppy to begin with - and I can't have that. So, I've decided to do something that is sure to boost morale!"  
  
 _Please don't let it be an execution._  
  
"I'm going hold a wedding!"  
  
 _Wait, what?_ "You're getting married?"  
  
"No, not me, you lame-brain! _You_ are getting married!"  
  
 _But I'm already married!_ "Me?"  
  
"Yes. One of the other Grubs wants to marry you, so I've decided to hold a grand celebration here on Planet Z - something to boost morale." He cackled to himself. "Plus, it'll give me an excuse to use my new sewing machine! Tell me, what size are you and what's your favourite colour? I'll need to know right away so I can get the dress ready in time for the wedding tomorrow."  
  
"Tomorrow?"


	4. Act IV

"Did you hear the great news?" Grubis asked Booster as they passed each other in one of the halls.  
  
"No, what?" asked Booster.  
  
"Tomorrow I'm going to get married!"  
  
So as not to blow his tough-guy cover, Booster had to resist the urge to clasp his hands together and sigh. He was still touched by the romance between LGMo and Grubliet, and had a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. "That's nice. Who are you marrying?"  
  
"Her name's Grubliet," answered Grubis. "She's wonderful!"  
  
"Gr-Gr-Grubliet?" Booster stammered. _Uh-oh._ "Out of curiosity, is Grubliet a common name here?"  
  
"No, I don't think so." Grubis shook his head.  
  
 _This is not good._ "So... uh... how long have you know her?"  
  
"Well, I don't exactly know her very well," admitted Grubis. "I had to have Emperor Zurg arrange the wedding, since I didn't know how to ask her." He suddenly jumped up excitedly. "Look, there she is!"  
  
"Boost - I mean Biff, I was looking for you," said Grubliet, entering the hall. Ignoring Grubis entirely, she took hold of Booster's arm. "We need to talk." As soon as they were away from Grubis, she broke down and began to sob. "What am I going to do? I can't marry him! I'm married to LGMo!"  
  
Booster frowned. "I wish Buzz were here. He'd think of something."  
  
"Like what?" sniffed Grubliet.  
  
"I don't know... He'd probably find some way to sneak you off the planet." Booster's face suddenly lit up. "I've got it! We can sneak you away by killing you!"  
  
Grubliet blinked. "I don't think I like this idea."  
  
"No, I don't mean really kill you - we'll pretend to," explained Booster. "I've already told Zurg that I think someone is going to defect. So, you'll just pretend to defect by trying to steal a spaceship from the hangar bay, then I'll pretend to catch you and shoot you, and that way my mission will be completed, so I can leave and take you with, and we won't have to worry about Zurg wondering why we're gone. It's perfect!"  
  
"Well... if you say so..." Grubliet answered doubtfully.

* * *

"And I want a purple cake with little Zs all over it." Zurg was talking to Cosmo over the vidphone. "Make sure it's the right shade of purple - I don't want it to be lilac like that birthday cake you made me." As an afterthought, he added, "Oh, and maybe add a few hearts to the cake - but they must be yellow and look as evil as possible."  
  
"Excuse me, your Evilness," a Grub suddenly interrupted.  
  
"Oh, what is it?" growled Zurg. "Can't you see I'm planning a wedding?"  
  
"Someone has broken into the hangar and is trying to steal a ship," gulped the Grub.  
  
"What?" Zurg jumped up. "I bet it's that defector Biff Catchall was telling me about!"

* * *

 _I hope this works._ Grubliet started firing up the cargo ship's engines.  
  
"There she is!" she heard Booster cry.  
  
"Come out, you snivelling traitor, and perhaps you will be rewarded with a quick death!" Zurg shouted.  
  
"Not a chance!" she yelled back.  
  
Zurg frowned. "Isn't that... no, it couldn't be. That sounded like the Grub whose getting married."  
  
"Well, whoever it is, we have to stop them!" Booster took out a gun and began firing at the ship. "Come out with your hands up!"  
  
"Very well - just don't hurt me!" Grubliet stepped back out.  
  
"Sorry, but defectors must die." Booster fired the gun, and Grubliet dropped to the floor.  
  
"NOOOOOOO!" 57 had just entered, and, unaware of Booster's plan, thought his friend had just been killed. "What have you done?"  
  
"Nice work, Catchall," grinned Zurg. "You'll be well-paid for this."  
  
57 stared at Grubliet's body in shock. "You've killed her!" He glared at Booster. "Why?" _This can't be happening! How will I tell her husband?_


	5. Act V

LGMo sat at Booster's station on 42, idly wondering how his bride was. Suddenly, he saw a message coming through from Planet Z. _It must be her._ He turned on the screen, and 57 appeared. "Hoooow is Grubliet?" LGMo asked.  
  
"Oh, LGMo, I have terrible news!" 57 could barely keep his voice steady. "Her body sleeps in Planet Z's morgue, and her immortal part with the angels lives. I saw her laid low in her kindred's vault, and presently took post to tell you: O, pardon me for bringing these ill news, since you did leave it for my office, sir."  
  
LGMo gaped at him. "Sheeeee... sheeeee's dead?"  
  
"I'm afraid so."  
  
"Noooooooooooo! Nooooooooo!" LGMo collapsed against the computer panel. "NOOOOOOO!" He suddenly jumped up from the seat. _If she is dead, then I can no longer live. I must go to Planet Z to die with her._  
  
Grabbing a spare jetpack and running to the launch tubes, he ejected himself into space and set off towards Planet Z.

* * *

After Grubliet had been safely stowed in the morgue, Booster opened his communicator to contact Buzz. "Booster to 42, Booster to 42."  
  
"42 here. Booster, how's everything going back there?" Buzz asked.  
  
"There's been a slight change in plans for us," replied Booster. "We have to get off Planet Z today."  
  
"Today?" Buzz sounded concerned. "What happened?"  
  
"It's a long story," shrugged Booster. "But don't worry, we have everything under control. We - "  
  
"Sorry to interrupt," Booster heard Mira say, "but LGMo seems to be missing - and he's taken one of the jetpacks."  
  
"What? But why?" Buzz asked.  
  
"I don't know - but I checked the logs, and he received a transmission from Planet Z a short time ago. Maybe that had something to do with it," Mira answered.  
  
"Oh no!" Booster slapped his forehead. "The message must have been from Brainpod 57! Grubliet and I forgot to let him in on our plan!"  
  
"Plan?"  
  
"Yeah - it's complicated, I'll tell you later. The point is, LGMo probably thinks Grubliet is dead!"

* * *

Zurg paced outside the morgue, still furious that one of his minions had tried to betray him - and even more furious that it was the very minion he was planning a wedding for. "Now I'll have to call the whole thing off!" he ranted to himself.  
  
Meanwhile, Booster was making his way to the morgue, hoping to be able to sneak Grubliet out and get her to the ship, so they could escape Planet Z and find LGMo. He was about to enter the morgue when he suddenly noticed someone standing outside the door. "Zurg!" he squealed, then quickly recovered his bounty hunter persona. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I was thinking about that snivelling little dimwit who tried to defect." Zurg clenched his fists. "How could she do this to me? And after I poured my heart and soul into planning her wedding! Why? Why?"  
  
While Booster was being forced to listen to Zurg's ravings, someone else managed to slip into the morgue undetected.  
  
"Grubliet, why did this have to happen to you?" groaned LGMo to himself, approaching the vaults containing the morgue's occupants.  
  
"Who's that?" LGMo was startled to hear a voice ask.  
  
"I am LGMoooo," he answered. "I've come to see my wiiiife one last time."  
  
Grubis emerged from the shadows. "You're an LGM! What are you doing here?"  
  
"My wife Grubliet is dead," sobbed LGMo. "I must die with her!"  
  
Grubis scowled at LGMo. "Grubliet wasn't your wife! How dare you speak such lies! You will die alright, but it will be at my hands!" He launched himself at LGMo, knocking him to the ground and beating him with his fists.  
  
"Wilt thou provoke me? Then have at thee, boy!" LGMo flung a punch at Grubis.  
  
The Grub staggered, crying, "O, I am slain!" and dropped to the floor.  
  
Moving to the vaults containing the bodies, LGMo opened the one marked with Grubliet's name and gazed at her still form. The effects of Booster's stun hadn't worn off yet, and she appeared quite dead to anyone who didn't know the truth. "Oh, Grubliet! Why did thiiiis have to happen?"  
  
LGMo took out a bowl of Cosmic Chilly he had taken from 42's galley, and gulped down the vile, toxic meal. With a gasp he fell down dead.

* * *

"And I even went to the trouble of ordering a purple bouquet and a purple cake and purple decorations! And this is the thanks I get!" Booster cringed as Zurg continued to ramble.  
  
"Uh-huh. Well, I've, uh, got to go now." The Jo-Adian finally managed to break away, and dashed into the morgue. When he entered, he was stunned to find LGMo's body sprawled across the floor. "Oh no! I'm too late!"  
  
"Booster? Is that you?" Grubliet asked groggily, the stun starting to wear off. Her eyes suddenly fell upon LGMo, and she let ut a scream. "He's dead! No!" Without pausing to think, she snatched Booster's gun. "O, happy laser, this is thy target!" She pressed the trigger, and a moment later she too was lying dead on the floor.  
  
"Oh no! This wasn't supposed to happen!" Booster ran from the room in shock.  
  
"What was all the noise about? What's going on?" Zurg entered the morgue, followed by some of his minions. They all stared dumbfounded at the bodies on the floor. "I guess this means all hope of a wedding is lost," sighed Zurg, gazing at the bodies of Grubliet and Grubis.  
  
Meanwhile, as he was running through one of the halls, Booster crashed straight into Buzz and Mira. "Buzz, what are you doing here?" he asked.  
  
"We came to get LGMo," answered Buzz. "Have you seen him?"  
  
Booster burst into tears. "They're both dead! LGMo and Grubliet - they're dead!"  
  
Buzz narrowed his eyes. "Zurg! The fiend has killed them! This time he's gone too far!"  
  
"But Buzz - " Before Booster could explain, Buzz was gone - heading in the direction of Zurg's voice.  
  
"Zurg, you will pay for what you've done!" Buzz burst into the morgue, raising his wrist ray and aiming at the evil emperor.  
  
"Lightyear! So it was you who killed my Grubs!" Zurg raised one of his own guns at Buzz.  
  
"Don't try to shift the blame on me, Zurg. I know what you did!"  
  
"All I've done today is plan a wedding!"  
  
"A likely story!"  
  
"Actually," Booster entered, "he's telling the truth. Zurg didn't kill them. They did it themselves."  
  
"Wha~? But why, Booster?" Buzz stared at his rookie in confusion.  
  
"Booster? You mean my latest bounty hunter is _also_ a Ranger in disguise?" Zurg face-palmed.  
  
"Yes, but that's not what's important." Booster looked down sadly at the dead LGM and Grub. "What's important is that it was our hatred for each other that caused their deaths. If we weren't fighting, they wouldn't have had to hide their love, and it wouldn't have ended in tragedy."  
  
Buzz and Zurg looked at each other sheepishly, and a moment later they burst into tears and buried their faces in each others' shoulders.  
  
"I'm sorry, Zurg!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Lightyear!"  
  
"You're not such a bad guy, I suppose."  
  
"I love you, Buzz!"  
  
"..." Buzz quickly pulled away from Zurg. "Right, well, we'd should, uh, try to get along more in the future. But now we really have to be going..."  
  
And so with a temporary truce formed, the two sides parted ways, and the bodies of LGMo and Grubliet were buried together on a beautiful moon where they could be together for all eternity.  
  
 **The End**


End file.
